What you believe is what you will achieve

29 December 2013

liar liar liar

Title: liar liar liar

Im finally back blogging. Wah it's been so long since i last blog.. I even forget my url and forget my login details. Oops.

Have lots of up and down i have been facing all this while. My mum, illness is just on and off. But im glad she can walk slowly. However, she is always not happy with the maid. Have been changing maid and the current one is already the 3rd maid. MOM even sent me letter. Warning already... But my mum... sigh.. Her temper is just not changing. Have already told her just talk nicely to the maid. Nth to get angry about she also angry. Sooner or later the current maid will come to me and said she want to transfer. sigh...

As for work, oh my have been suffering alot. Worse till, my supervisor gonna be taking over 2 manager and he have already hand over all the stuff to me and one of my colleague. That colleague of mine is just pain in the @ss.. He made a big drama and get good pay increment yet he doesnt want to do the job. Doing report, handling staff i have to do.. Damn.. Im gonna act blur and let him do the job man.. Im in-charge of one team and you in-charge of another team.. Why I need to take over ur team as well? The company pay u more to take over all this.. So do your job. At the end of the day, u take the credit and i dont. And im the one doing everything. NO WAY..

I have already took up driving lesson and i regret chionging my lesson.. ><" It took me like less than 2mths and i completed all my lesson. I need to wait for 2mths++ for my traffic police test. awww... I only manage to go for my revision and now i have forget everything. Haven been driving for like 1mth++ already.. I even forget to go for my revision twice. As i was freaking sick for the past few weeks..Wasted $100++ for the revision.. Im suppose to go for my revision today afternoon but due to my cough and chest pain i cancelled it. Have been coughing so much.. Dont get it why is my cough not going away.. ><" The phlegm is not going away.. Been having asthma as well.. :( It's sux..

someone text me and said wanna find me.. I told him today i will be home the whole to rest so he can come over. He said he will sleep some more then come over to my place.. I waited till 11plus and no text from him. So I text him and said if u not coming, im going to bed already. He then reply said he is not coming and he slept the whole. He said he is still steam... Ya right. Saw him in skype the whole day.. So he is gaming the whole day... Oh well.. I gave up. Game is still more important to him. I have no energy to bother so much..

ok.. gonna stop here.. Dont know when i will come back and blog again.. Have been very busy so we shall see how.. Bye my dear reader.

Signing Off

Copyright @ 28 December 2013, Saturday

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21 April 2013

Title: Lots and Lots of thing

Sigh!! I really dont know what is wrong with my mum.. Her mood swing is giving me alot of problem. Dont get what she really want. I have been enduring it.. I can only smoke and keep quiet.. :( I dont know how long i can endure. With a maid to take care of her also a huge issue here. Without a maid also a huge issue. What can I do? Im going crazy soon. I think slowly i may just go crazy.. Sigh!!

With all these shit feeling and suffering I have, I really wanna learn bike. So that i can ride a bike to relieve all my unhappiness. I will learn it secretly cos i know almost everyone will disagree.

I dont know what is wrong with my life. It's sux to the max. That's the reason why i dare not go for the next step. I scare I will face more. I have enf of all these shit feeling. Sigh! No one can understand how i feel till they suffer the same thing as me. Ppl always said dont care dont care.. chill chill... FUCK u la.. You think that's so easy. I think Im born to suffer all my life. I rather god take me and stop torturing me.. :( Since the day i born, Im suffering so much.. :(

FUCK my life. It sux. I dont know when i can stay happy and stress free.. I dont know.. I hope soon.. Really hope soon.

Signing Off

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15 April 2013

Title: What is really wrong

Blogging all my feeling here.. I cried twice today. Sigh all thanks to my mum. I really dont know what she really want. I have been going to work early then before so that i can go off early to the hospital to visit my mum. But today for no reason i kena scolded. I am being nice by asking she want to eat. She scolded me by saying dont buy so many food, dont waste money. (2 bao only) Hello, if you dont want i eat. Im offering you my bao (which is my dinner to you), if you dont want i can eat. Why must you scold me. Then she started complaining that the maid did not help her with exercise and did not massage her the whole day. When i was there, I saw the maid massaging her. She even complaint that maid behaving like want and dont want like that. Ppl doing soft she complaint and ppl do it hard she also complaint. She said she rather go to day care centre. She is the one that pushing for a maid. I went thru so many trouble to get a maid and now she is forcing ppl to leave and forcing me to send the maid home.

I asked my aunt as she was there the whole day today, she mentioned that the maid did massage and help my mum with the exercise. She also notice my mum is freaking hot n quick temper. My mum is pissing everyone off. I have been trying my best to please and be patience with her. I have been keeping quiet all this while. She is taking everything for granted. Im in total lost now. Im so scare when she is home on wednesday. I dont know what will happen to the house. She is forcing me to do something that i dont want, which is stop working and look after her.

She pissed me till the extend that i almost throw my anger to a fucking cb man. I was stress up and i lighted my cigarette, then this fucking man said "dont smoke here". He heng that he was jogging and he went off. If not i gonna fuck him upside down. I dont care if anything happen. Seriously, my mind is thinking of creating trouble and i dont care what happen next. I have enf of all this torture. My mum already torture me, so im going to torture the next person who torture me

Wednesday i plan not to take leave but look like i have to. I scare to leave my mum and the maid alone. I have to send the both of them home. I have no more leave and my next leave is only available on August.

Sigh.. Im lost and really dont know what else i can do to please my mum. I can only keep quiet and be patience. I just want her to recover fast so that she wont get so hot and quick temper. If god want anything, then use my life to exchange for a her good and fast recovery. I dont mind. I rather die than survive

Signing Off

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08 March 2013

it's been almost 4mths already

Title: it's been almost 4mths already

I set my blog private cos i dont want ppl to view it and i can say whatever thing i want. But i notice i haven been blogging since then. hahaha.. I think i should start blogging again. Cos i have been doing my best to be happy but im not. Have been trying to stay happy all this while but it's hard. Anyway, acting to be happy is not tough after all. In my mind i have so many worries and im confuse.

Sigh, my mum is still in the hospital. She admitted on 6 Feb till now :( I really hope she can recover fast. I have been going to the hospital/rehab centre after work everyday then reach home sometime did some washing and ironing of clothes. It's so tiring but im strong cos she needs me :) Now she is the only ppl im close with. Hope she can start to walk by herself and can recover real fast.

Confuse on lots of thing. I just hate liar. Ppl promise something and yet hiding and doing other thing. If that's the case then what is the point of the promise. Damn. I really hate it. Why does it have to be this way? What is wrong? I really dont understand. It's getting from bad to worse.

Work is kinda up and down. Best colleague have left and now i have no one to talk my problem with :( So whenever i reach office i work like mad. At one point is to numb myself form thinking and at another point is to just finish up my work. Supervisor is now asking me to recruit staff and do interview, slowly i believe he is gonna ask me to do training. He also been trying to hint me that im gonna start doing report and present to the big bosses. :( I need to change job but i have to wait for my mum condition to be stabilize 1st.

At home tenant is trying to be funny. Nv pay rental, switch on the lights and not turning it off while not in use. Use our pots to cook without asking. I dont know what else they did when my mum and me is not around. They treat the house their own. That's the reason why i need to install camera already.

Signing Off

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03 December 2012

What is wrong

Title: What is wrong

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong? Never ending worries and problem one after another. There are now 2 sick ppl that i need to worry on. Then worry on how can i resolve a place to sleep ( a win win solution). At the moment i cant make my mum angry and i have to just take in whatever shit she say or do that make me angry.

my mum condition is still not stable yet. She is still having stroke on and off. She just discharge from the hospital and i have to monitor her condition.

Then now my bf is sick. Was told that his legs are swollen. Was told due to infection. Sigh! I hope is not due to his diabetic.

Seriously, im having a fuck up year.. FUCK U GOD.. What the fuck u want? Is either u give me all the problems at one go, or just take me with you. I have enf. I dont fucking care.. Awwww.. FUCK.. My worries / problems are forever no ending. One resolve the next one arrive. CB la..

Signing Off

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